Some questioning

[IgnisRaven]

I've been doing a lot of questioning as of late. I do feel I am otherkin, however, I feel that I've gone back and forth too much with a few kintypes, and so I have figured the most likely three, and am looking into them, and my reasons for believing that is what I am.

So far, this is what I have:

Therian: I seem to act animalistically quite often. I am posessive of food, territorial, like to bite affectionately, identify everything by smell, so on. I shift. However, I could never find my theriotype. When I shift, it's generally into the same "mystery animal".


Demon: It feels right, I think, however, I can find little else to support this.


Angel: It may feel right, but I'm uncertain. I have found though, that I have phantom wings (I knew about these long before I knew about angelkin) which seem to come out any time when I'm feeling threatened. They almost "shoot" out. They are feathery, change color, but are usually (so I've found) hawk or eagle like, and gold-brown in color. I also often feel them wrapped around me, as if they are a protective shield. I've heard angels use their wings as defense.

Not only this, but as young as three I was very empathic, maybe even before. However, this may not relate, and it also has dulled over the years. I'm aspergers, so it becomes hard to feel things sometimes now.



So this is what I have so far. Feel free to reply.



-IgnisRaven

[Ashmodai]

Hmmm...difficult. I think time will tell.
Sometimes it takes a while to find out who we really are.
I am a demon (but prefer to call myself daimon) and I have wings as well. Usually they are bat-like, but I can change them into black-feathered wings.

[shadewing]

The ever theory of wings.....By theory, wings do not translate to angel nor shape or function......Search your heart, your memories(if you have any) meditate on it, nothing gives better answers than meditation.

[non-sequitur aeon]

if you think "the prophecy" is a feel-good comedy....ya might be an angelkin :-P

[IgnisRaven]

I wasn't saying that since I have wings I'm angelkin. I thought that because of the way my "wings" function.


-IgnisRaven

[shadewing]

I also stated that the shape and function of wings do not dictate kin type.

[non-sequitur aeon]

you're a harpy....get over it :-P

[Rash'Amadar]

I think the time will tell you

Listen to your heart and feelings. Meditation might help as well - if you are eager to find out.
Just give yourself a little bit of time!

Feeling wings does not mean = angelic (as others posted before).
There are many creatures with wings - and using them as kind of shield is not that rare

[IgnisRaven]

Thanks, Rash.

As for aeon....harpy? Are you trying to be sarcastic? I'm not stupid, you know.


-IgnisRaven

[shadewing]

Aeon is just being funny....lol

[non-sequitur aeon]

my apologies for terrible humor. at times i'll try to interject such....perhaps as a juxtaposition for my otherwise dry...idiom.

i don't believe that you're stupid ;-)

i was hinting, however, at one of many fun mythological whatsits with wings...as many other have suggested 'angel' may be a natural but definitely not universal explanation for phantom wings.

i've never been one to put emphasis on the nomenclature of kin types...as opposed to individual interpretation and what it 'means' to you. there's enough fairy vampire saiyan dragon-elves running around that use the community's somewhat open enrollment policy to play whatever demon-fighting fantasies they have....for the sake of self-fulfilling prophecy (not saying that's the case with you at all...see sefewet's posts for good examples). that said, any sort of 'title', kin type, and affirmation thereof....will unfortunately have to come from the self (as many in the community are rather busy trying to prove to themselves that they're not crazy...). all anyone can do from there is relate experience and gain a heightened sense of confidence within suppositions (or perhaps strong beliefs.....not to use the word belief lightly)...when identifying with similar accounts.

i've found that there's little that separates kin types early on during awakening...i understand it may be seem important to define one's self........but if you don't know where you fit, it's impossible to do until you discover more information. which will either find it's way to fruition or can be uncovered through meditation and the such.

dissecting your comments a bit....it seems you were considering either a demon or therian type with a more intuitive approach. whereas you were saying 'angel' merely on speculation of wing use...i imagine there's more but it wasn't specified so i imagine it's not as adamant. if you were to follow the etymology of demon to daemon....you may find some interesting parallels between therians and daemons. i suggest beginning there, study-wise that is....may lead you to djinn or deva as well. i mention that route because of how you affectionately spoke of shifting to a 'mystery animal'. perhaps if you were to describe said animal in a bit more detail beyond seeming like a bird of prey :-).

to me it seems like you're well on your way to being just as confused as everyone (exceptions noted....lol). i of course jest and really mean that there's some who seem almost positive of a kin type, but are then hit with something that throws their paradigm completely out of whack. it's best to know yourself first, what qualities you innately possess (as i don't feel a person has a kin half and human half....but rather they're a complete being with interesting dormant potentials)...because such won't change nearly as often as self-prescribed definitions.

well that concludes my rant for now...it's nothing new i'm afraid.........all comes back down to the 'know yourself' and 'meditate' jargon.......apologies for not finding a more convenient method for self-discovery. though, if you've any specific curiosities please bring them to the forefront as we're all mostly here to help one another (in some odd esoteric way). i'll do the best i can...and may perhaps throw a bit of my own 'intuition' on the matter......if provoked enough.

blessings,
auriel

[IgnisRaven]

Thank you, aeon, for explaining

Actually there were other feelings other than wings, such as needing to "save" people (for example, from suicide), in a way that it feels to be my "duty" rather than a real feeling of love. (Although that can go along depending on whom I'm saving.) I also would dismiss some (animals only so far) to the afterlife, by telling them when they are sufffering, and death will be inevitable (but they are holding on) to "just go".

Now many of these could be intuitive/spiritual human traits as well, although probably more common in otherkin. However (other than the feeling of "duty", which may be angelkin), I left the rest out originally because they may mean nothing.

However, upon speaking with Terro (just to rule in or out angelkin) I found a few interesting things:

First off, I have a memory (or, at least, that's what I believe it is), of standing guard at a gate. Usually the gate is portrayed as gold, and it is very white around it. I held a staff of some sort. Now, I can't say for sure if the memory is distorted or not. It may well be. But I do believe that the "guarding" was true, as well as the staff.

Terro told me that it sounded like a Domination (choir) angel to him. At least, the guarding of the gate did. The other things sounded general angelic. Upon speaking with more otherkin, I found that "guardian" could be various other things.

I also remembered something I had read in Terro's essay about angels about how angelkin tend to (but not always) have an aura of the same color which represents their choir. My aura is green, and almost completely at that. Knowing full well that it may mean nothing, I still ventured to ask if dominations are associated with green. His answer was yes.

Finally I decided to look these things up, just to make sure. I found that dominations are represented by green and gold. They carry a scepter, and a sword. I have always had an affinity for swords. I also, interestingly enough, found that dominations appear as glowing spheres. When I first entered the community, I kept insisting that I felt like a "glowing ball of light".

All in all, I assume this is something I should look into more.



-IgnisRaven

[kareshi]

It's the Dominions actually, not the dominations, but yes, the Dominion Choir are responsible for delivering messages across the planes, and as such their station falls many times at the barrier between planes, which can mean at the gates of the plane of Heaven.

The Choir has been depicted many times with its members carrying staves of gold with orbs of light emitting a glorious shower of brightness to all around. They are also associated many times with the color of green as the emerald light emitted from around them tends either towards the color green or the color gold.

[non-sequitur aeon]

fun topic....karma!

from where are you pulling this information on dominions?

[IgnisRaven]

Who? Me? I found some on these sites:


en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_angelic_hierarchy#Dominions


www.circle-of-light.com/Angels/rank-dominations.html


-IgnisRaven