Post by paindancer on Oct 3, 2007 14:18:46 GMT -5
Hello there...
Recently, I came across a influx of information which has led me here. Essentially, I came across the concept of pranic vamps, which led me to the concept of otherkin, and now you guys. I am asking lots of questions and searching. I may post here frequently, I may not. I will state what I have found this lifetime and see what you have to say:
Since I was very young, I would often have episodes, where I would wake in a altered state, for lack of better terms, night terrors, often stating that 'my body didn't fit', 'my hands were wrong' etc.
Very early on, those around me believed I had a gift for healing, which was exploited in the born again circuit for some time. I left that art and the Christian faith by 10. During my childhood however, I retained an connection to weather patterns, being able to connect with thunderstorms and began to work with internal energies.
After high school, I begun to become involved with metaphysical groups. I definitely have a knack for this work, especially when it comes to energy manipulation. Being that I chose this path for internal development, however, I very often was at odds with many groups desires for physical betterment (money, power, relationships, etc.. pretty standard crap). Eventually, the scenario would unfold that I was withholding my abilities, the group would take offense citing my attempting to manipulate the group (No, I am not going to make another wealth avatar for you) and we would part paths.
During that time, however, I did begun to recall several past lives, none of them particularly pleasant. Most were human but not all, the most clear being a Draconian existence, the most odd being some sort of sentient tentacled aquatic thing (jellykin?
) During this time, my affinity for elemental work (5 western elements) became clear, and this was when the pain really started:
Since college, and continuing after, I have dealt with pain in my back, arms and sometimes legs. This goes down to nearly nothing, all the way to fiery pins and needles, akin to ghost limb syndrome, in limbs I have never had, at least, not in this lifetime. The form does correspond with the self image I have in the dreaming however.
My image in the dreaming, is what I feel is my true form. I have done a significant amount of meditative searching. I have uncovered the name to this form, but am uncomfortable with giving it out. Its nothing significant, but I feel there is power in a name. I have also some titles with it, which do not make much sense to me, and probably don't have much context.
For what its worth, my form was created directly from the elements. The skin almost obsidian in nature (earth). Mostly humanoid in shape, but slightly more slender, especially in the abdomen which is nearly skeletal. No nose either (why is that important?). Single set of wings, with a very slender long pair of arms set between the wings. I am unsure about the presence of a tail.. sometimes it seems I do, others I do not. My arms have exaggerated hands, with 3 fingers instead of 4. (I still think pinky fingers are wonderful things to have for typing but they feel strange).
Outside of the form, I do not necessarily think I am angelic or demonic. I have met both, and conflicted with both. An interesting note to my path, is I seem to be placed, on occasion, in the presence of both of these entities, when they have become 'unbalanced' or operating outside of their design. These encounters have never been hostile, but are many times violent. I have never not had access to the means needed to resolve the situation, but the means in question are not necessarily my own every time. From these encounters, I have sometimes awakened with physical injuries, (bites and bruises mostly), and a healthy respect for angelic, demonic and human energies (angelics being most frightening, due to the potential of hostility paired with unwavering logic or order).
I also am most likely a type of pranic vampire, feeding from people. I have mostly tempered this trait, choosing to perform as a fetish artist in the LA club scene.
Baring all of this, I think I'm fairly normal, being a successful engineering consultant, parent, etc. But thats the boring stuff, isn't it?
So.. there you go. Thats me in a fairly brief nutshell. There are more details, but right now I have mostly questions. I would love feedback. Its interesting to think I may not be quite as alone as I thought I was.
Recently, I came across a influx of information which has led me here. Essentially, I came across the concept of pranic vamps, which led me to the concept of otherkin, and now you guys. I am asking lots of questions and searching. I may post here frequently, I may not. I will state what I have found this lifetime and see what you have to say:
Since I was very young, I would often have episodes, where I would wake in a altered state, for lack of better terms, night terrors, often stating that 'my body didn't fit', 'my hands were wrong' etc.
Very early on, those around me believed I had a gift for healing, which was exploited in the born again circuit for some time. I left that art and the Christian faith by 10. During my childhood however, I retained an connection to weather patterns, being able to connect with thunderstorms and began to work with internal energies.
After high school, I begun to become involved with metaphysical groups. I definitely have a knack for this work, especially when it comes to energy manipulation. Being that I chose this path for internal development, however, I very often was at odds with many groups desires for physical betterment (money, power, relationships, etc.. pretty standard crap). Eventually, the scenario would unfold that I was withholding my abilities, the group would take offense citing my attempting to manipulate the group (No, I am not going to make another wealth avatar for you) and we would part paths.
During that time, however, I did begun to recall several past lives, none of them particularly pleasant. Most were human but not all, the most clear being a Draconian existence, the most odd being some sort of sentient tentacled aquatic thing (jellykin?
) During this time, my affinity for elemental work (5 western elements) became clear, and this was when the pain really started:Since college, and continuing after, I have dealt with pain in my back, arms and sometimes legs. This goes down to nearly nothing, all the way to fiery pins and needles, akin to ghost limb syndrome, in limbs I have never had, at least, not in this lifetime. The form does correspond with the self image I have in the dreaming however.
My image in the dreaming, is what I feel is my true form. I have done a significant amount of meditative searching. I have uncovered the name to this form, but am uncomfortable with giving it out. Its nothing significant, but I feel there is power in a name. I have also some titles with it, which do not make much sense to me, and probably don't have much context.
For what its worth, my form was created directly from the elements. The skin almost obsidian in nature (earth). Mostly humanoid in shape, but slightly more slender, especially in the abdomen which is nearly skeletal. No nose either (why is that important?). Single set of wings, with a very slender long pair of arms set between the wings. I am unsure about the presence of a tail.. sometimes it seems I do, others I do not. My arms have exaggerated hands, with 3 fingers instead of 4. (I still think pinky fingers are wonderful things to have for typing but they feel strange).
Outside of the form, I do not necessarily think I am angelic or demonic. I have met both, and conflicted with both. An interesting note to my path, is I seem to be placed, on occasion, in the presence of both of these entities, when they have become 'unbalanced' or operating outside of their design. These encounters have never been hostile, but are many times violent. I have never not had access to the means needed to resolve the situation, but the means in question are not necessarily my own every time. From these encounters, I have sometimes awakened with physical injuries, (bites and bruises mostly), and a healthy respect for angelic, demonic and human energies (angelics being most frightening, due to the potential of hostility paired with unwavering logic or order).
I also am most likely a type of pranic vampire, feeding from people. I have mostly tempered this trait, choosing to perform as a fetish artist in the LA club scene.
Baring all of this, I think I'm fairly normal, being a successful engineering consultant, parent, etc. But thats the boring stuff, isn't it?
So.. there you go. Thats me in a fairly brief nutshell. There are more details, but right now I have mostly questions. I would love feedback. Its interesting to think I may not be quite as alone as I thought I was.
